Do You Remember?
by hairymclary
Summary: Someone is remembering something that happened in Ootp. Unexpected slash. Oneshot. Mild T.


Do You Remember?

**WARNING: Slash, Ootp spoilers.**

**Disclaimer: It's an out-take from HP5, and if I was J K Rowling I would have put it in the book. Obviously.**

Harry looks like a corpse: hollow and horrified. Exactly how I feel. Bellatrix Lestrange, on the other hand, is triumphant, exultant. Bile starts to rise in my throat. I've never liked her.

Your shock, Sirius, is transferring to me. I used to think you were invincible. Silly, really, but you behaved like it, and I suppose that affected me.

Sirius. I remember your first day at Hogwarts, and how amazed you were by everything, including the ceiling, unsurprisingly, in the Great Hall. I remember how delighted you were when you were Sorted into Gryffindor. I was a Gryffindor, too.

I remember how you were always in trouble, how your continuous pranks gave you a detention record that is still unbeaten.

I remember how I was drawn to you, and for some strange reason started to follow you round the castle. We would bump into each other at the oddest moments, often around three o'clock in the morning. You loved prowling the castle as much as I did.

I remember how jealous of James I was. Even after he married Lily, I still saw him as a threat. Ridiculous, but true.

I remember your rather hopeless attempts to plan a prank of your own. You always ended up asking someone for help.

I remember how delighted you were when you got your OWL and NEWT results, and rightly so. I was amazed.

I remember your attempts to apologise to me after the fiasco involving Severus Snape and the Whomping Willow.

I remember how proud you were to be the godfather of Lily and James' son, and how much you loved baby Harry. Even after Azkaban, you are- _were_ still protective of the boy.

I remember those horrific twelve years when I thought that you had been the spy; you had betrayed Lily and James. I didn't realise that I might be wrong; I just automatically assumed that it could only have been you. I was blind to anything else.

I remember your escape from Azkaban, and my terror when you appeared at the Gryffindor Tower at Halloween. If anything had happened to Harry – or any of the students – I would never have forgiven myself. In fact, rather ironically, you saved the life of three students, Harry being one of them.

I remember my utter panic when they said that you should have the Dementor's Kiss.

I remember how I was so pleased when you escaped, but also upset because I knew that I wouldn't see you for some time. We'd be in contact, but owl post just wasn't the same.

I remember how much you cared for Buckbeak.

I remember how bored and frustrated you were in Grimmauld Place. That was my fault.

I remember your mischievous smile; your Quidditch obsession; your twinkling eyes; your hair; your build; your casual attitude towards the girls that flocked to you like flies to a lamp. I remember how you loved to show off.

I remember how jealous I felt when anyone went out with you. I wanted you to myself. It wasn't fair.

I remember you so clearly. I wish you hadn't di- gone.

I feel so guilty; it's my fault you died. All my fault.

If only I could have told you what I felt…

I was meant to be a Gryffindor, wasn't I? There were times when I wondered whether the Sorting Hat had been wrong.

Sirius. You have no idea how often I lay in bed wishing there was someone else there with me. I would wonder for days on end whether you thought the same about me. Pathetic, really.

Sirius Black. A fitting name, considering your Animagus.

I'm going to miss you so much. Oh, Sirius, why did you have to die? Couldn't someone else have gone instead? I know it's selfish, but-

It's no use standing here doing nothing; Alastor needs my help. I can break down later. In private.

Oh, Sirius.

"Albus?"

I blink and turn round, keeping my emotions as controlled as possible. After all, the 'invincible' Albus Dumbledore has work to do. I can't show any weakness.

I feel so old and helpless.

I'm sorry.

**AN: So what did you think? Who did you think it was before I revealed it? And don't you agree that Albus Dumbledore and Sirius Black should be together forever? Tell me so in a review!**


End file.
